tender…hearted woman； as Miss Gwilt。 There may have been some
dreadful death in the familysome relation who has disgraced
himselfsome infernal cruelty which has forced the poor thing
out on the world as a governess。 Well； turning it over in my
mind； it struck me that the major might be able to put me on the
right tack。 It is quite possible that he might have been informed
of Miss Gwilt's family circumstances before he engaged her； isn't
it？〃
〃It is possible； Allan； certainly。〃
〃Just my feeling again！ My notion is to speak to the major。 If I
could only get the story from him first； I should know so much
better how to speak to Miss Gwilt about it afterward。 You advise
me to try the major； don't you？〃
There was a pause before Midwinter replied。 When he did answer；
it was a little reluctantly。
〃I hardly know how to advise you； Allan；〃 he said。 〃This is a
very delicate matter。〃
〃I believe you would try the major； if you were in my place；〃
returned Allan； reverting to his inveterately personal way of
putting the question。
〃Perhaps I might；〃 said Midwinter； more and more unwillingly。
〃But if I did speak to the major； I should be very careful； in
your place； not to put myself in a false position。 I should be
very careful to let no one suspect me of the meanness of prying
into a woman's secrets behind her back。〃
Allan's face flushed。 〃Good heavens； Midwinter；〃 he exclaimed；
〃who could suspect me of that？〃
〃Nobody； Allan； who really knows you。〃
〃The major knows me。 The major is the last man in the world to
misunderstand me。 All I want him to do is to help me （if he can）
to speak about a delicate subject to Miss Gwilt； without hurting
her feelings。 Can anything be simpler between two gentlemen？〃
Instead of replying； Midwinter； still speaking as constrainedly
as ever； asked a question on his side。 〃Do you mean to tell Major
Milroy；〃 he said； 〃what your intentions really are toward Miss
Gwilt？〃
Allan's manner altered。 He hesitated； and looked confused。
〃I have been thinking of that；〃 he replied； 〃and I mean to feel
my way first； and then tell him or not afterward； as matters turn
out？〃
A proceeding so cautious as this was too strikingly inconsistent
with Allan's character not to surprise any one who knew him。
Midwinter showed his surprise plainly。
〃You forget that foolish flirtation of mine with Miss Milroy；〃
Allan went on； more and more confusedly。 〃The major may have
noticed it； and may have thought I meantwell； what I didn't
mean。 It might be rather awkward； mightn't it； to propose to his
face for his governess instead of his daughter？〃
He waited for a word of answer； but none came。 Midwinter opened
his lips to speak； and suddenly checked himself。 Allan； uneasy at
his silence； doubly uneasy under certain recollections of the
major's daughter which the conversation had called up； rose from
the table and shortened the interview a little impatiently。
〃Come！ come！〃 he said； 〃don't sit there looking unutterable
things； don't make mountains out of mole…hills。 You have such an
old； old head； Midwinter； on those young shoulders of yours！
Let's have done with all these _pros_ and _cons。_。 Do you mean to
tell me in plain words that it won't do to speak to the major？〃
〃I can't take the responsibility； Allan； of telling you that。 To
be plainer still； I can't feel confident of the soundness of any
advice I may give you inin our present position toward each
other。 All I am sure of is that I cannot possibly be wrong in
entreating you to do two things。〃
〃What are they？〃
〃If you speak to Major Milroy； pray remember the caution I have
given you！ Pray think of what you say before you say it！〃
〃I'll think； never fear！ What next？〃
〃Before you take any serious step in this matter； write and tell
Mr。 Brock。 Will you promise me to do that？〃
〃With all my heart。 Anything more？〃
〃Nothing more。 I have said my last words。〃
Allan led the way to the door。 〃Come into my room；〃 he said； 〃and
I'll give you a cigar。 The servants will be in here directly to
clear away； and I want to go on talking about Miss Gwilt。〃
〃Don't wait for me；〃 said Midwinter； 〃I'll follow you in a minute
or two。〃
He remained seated until Allan had closed the door； then rose；
and took from a corner of the room； where it lay hidden behind
one of the curtains； a knapsack ready packed for traveling。 As he
stood at the window thinking； with the knapsack in his hand； a
strangely old； care…worn look stole over his face： he seemed to
lose the last of his youth in an instant。
What the woman's quicker insight had discovered days since； the
man's slower perception had only realized in the past night。 The
pang that had wrung him when he heard Allan's avowal had set the
truth self…revealed before Midwinter for the first time。 He had
been conscious of looking at Miss Gwilt with new eyes and a new
mind； on the next occasion when they met after the memorable
interview in Major Milroy's garden； but he had never until now
known the passion that she had roused in him for what it really
was。 Knowing it at last； feeling it consciously in full
possession of him； he had the courage which no man with a happier
experience of life would have possessedthe courage to recall
what Allan had confided to him； and to look resolutely at the
future through his own grateful remembrances of the past。
Steadfastly； through the sleepless hours of the night； he had
bent his mind to the conviction that he must conquer the passion
which had taken possession of him； for Allan's sake； and that the
one way to conquer it wasto go。 No after…doubt as to the
sacrifice had troubled him when morning came； and no after…doubt
troubled him now。 The one question that kept him hesitating was
the question of leaving Thorpe Ambrose。 Though Mr。 Brock's letter
relieved him from all necessity of keeping watch in Norfolk for a
woman who was known to be in Somersetshire； though the duties of
the steward's office were duties which might be safely left in
Mr。 Bashwood's tried and trustworthy handsstill； admitting
these considerations； his mind was not easy at the thought of
leaving Allan； at a time when a crisis was approaching in Allan's
life。
He slung the knapsack loosely over his shoulder and put the
question to his conscience for the last time。 〃Can you trust
yourself to see her； day by day as you must see hercan you
trust yourself to hear him talk of her； hour by hour； as you must
hear himif you stay in this house？〃 Again the answer came； as
it had come all through the night。 Again his heart warned him； in
the very interests of the friendship that he held sacred； to go
while the time was his own； to go before the woman who had
possessed herself of his love had possessed herself of his power
of self…sacrifice and his sense of gratitude as well。
He looked round the room mechanically before he turned to leave
it。 Every remembrance of the conversation that had just taken
place between Allan and himself pointed to the same conclusion；
and warned him； as his own conscience had warned him； to go。
Had he honestly mentioned any one of the objections which he； or
any man； must have seen to Allan's attachment？ Had heas his
knowledge of his friend's facile character bound him to
dowarned Allan to distrust his own hasty impulses； and to test
himself by time and absence； before he made sure that the
happiness of his whole life was bound up in Miss Gwilt？ No。 The
bare doubt whether； in speaking of these things； he could feel
that he was speaking disinterestedly； had closed his lips； and
would close his lips for the future； till the time for speaking
had gone by。 Was the right man to restrain Allan the man who
would have given the world； if he had it； to stand in Allan's
place？ There was but one plain course of action that an honest
man and a grateful man could follow in the position in which he
stood。 Far removed from all chance of seeing her； and from all
chance of hearing of heralone with his own faithful
recollection of what he owed to his friendhe might hope to
fight it down； as he had fought down the tears in his childhood
under his gypsy master's stick； as he had fought down the misery
of his lonely youth time in the country bookseller's shop。 〃I
must go；〃 he said； as he turned wearily from the window； 〃before
she comes to the house again。 I must go before another hour is
over my head。〃
With that resolution he left the room； and； in leaving it； took
the irrevocable step from Present to Future。
The rain was still falling。 The sullen sky； all round the
horizon； still lowered watery and dark； when Midwinter； equipped
for traveling； appeared in Allan's room。
〃Good heavens！〃 cried Allan； pointing to the knapsack； 〃what does
_that_ mean？〃
〃Nothing very extraordinary；〃 said Midwinter。 〃It only
meansgood…by。〃
〃Good…by！〃 repeated Allan； starting to his feet in astonishment。
Midwinter put him back gently into his chair； and drew a seat
near to it for himself。
〃When you noticed that I looked ill this morning；〃 he said； 〃I
told you that I had been thinking of a way to recover my health；
and that I meant to speak to you about it later in the day。 That
latter time has come。 I have been out of sorts； as the phrase is；
for some time past。 You have remarked it yourself； Allan； more
than once； and； with your usual kindness； you have allowed it to
excuse many things in my conduct which would have been otherwise
unpardonable； even in your friendly eyes。〃
〃My dear fellow；〃 interposed Allan； 〃you don't mean to say you
are going out on a walking tour in this pouring rain！〃
〃Never mind the rain；〃 rejoined Midwinter。 〃The rain and I are
old friends。 You know something； Allan； of the life I led before
you met with me。 From the time when I was a child； I have been
used to hardship and exposure。 Night and day； sometimes for
months together； I never had my head under a roof。 For years and
years； the life of a wild animalperhaps I ought to say； the
life of a savagewas the life I led； while you were at home and
happy。 I have the leaven of the vagabondthe vagabond animal； or
the vagabond man； I hardly know whichin me still。 Does it
distress you to hear me t