retain the inclination Your very humble servant； good Mr
Blackberry' So saying； he shoved to another corner of the room。
'What a fine old gentleman！ （cried Mr Barton） what spirits！ what
a memory！ He never forgets an old friend。' 'He does me too much
honour （observed our squire） to rank me among the number Whilst
I sat in parliament； I never voted with the ministry but three
times； when my conscience told me they were in the right：
however； if he still keeps levee； I will carry my nephew thither；
that he may see； and learn to avoid the scene； for； I think； an
English gentleman never appears to such disadvantage； as at the
levee of a minister Of his grace I shall say nothing at present；
but that for thirty years he was the constant and common butt of
ridicule and execration。 He was generally laughed at as an ape in
politics； whose office and influence served only to render his
folly the more notorious； and the opposition cursed him； as the
indefatigable drudge of a first…mover； who was justly stiled and
stigmatized as the father of corruption： but this ridiculous ape；
this venal drudge； no sooner lost the places he was so ill
qualified to fill； and unfurled the banners of faction； than he
was metamorphosed into a pattern of public virtue； the very
people who reviled him before； now extolled him to the skies； as
a wise； experienced statesman； chief pillar of the Protestant
succession； and corner stone of English liberty。 I should be glad
to know how Mr Barton reconciles these contradictions； without
obliging us to resign all title to the privilege of common
sense。' 'My dear sir （answered Barton） I don't pretend to justify
the extravagations of the multitude； who； I suppose； were as wild
in their former censure； as in the present praise： but I shall be
very glad to attend you on Thursday next to his grace's levee；
where； I'm afraid； we shall not be crowded with company； for； you
know； there's a wide difference between his present office of
president of the council； and his former post of first lord
commissioner of the treasury。'
This communicative friend having announced all the remarkable
characters of both sexes； that appeared at court； we resolved to
adjourn； and retired。 At the foot of the stair…case； there was a
crowd of lacqueys and chairmen； and in the midst of them stood
Humphry Clinker； exalted upon a stool； with his hat in one hand；
and a paper in the other； in the act of holding forth to the
people Before we could inquire into the meaning of this
exhibition； he perceived his master； thrust the paper into his
pocket； descended from his elevation； bolted through the crowd；
and brought up the carriage to the gate。
My uncle said nothing till we were seated； when； after having
looked at me earnestly for some time； he burst out a…laughing；
and asked if I knew upon what subject Clinker was holding forth
to the mob 'If （said he） the fellow is turned mountebank； I must
turn him out of my service； otherwise he'll make Merry Andrews of
us all' I observed； that； in all probability； he had studied
medicine under his master； who was a farrier。
At dinner； the squire asked him； if he had ever practised physic？
'Yes； and please your honour （said he） among brute beasts； but I
never meddle with rational creatures。' 'I know not whether you
rank in that class the audience you was haranguing in the court
at St。 James's； but I should be glad to know what kind of powders
you was distributing； and whether you had a good sale' 'Sale；
sir！ （cried Clinker） I hope I shall never be base enough to sell
for gold and silver； what freely comes of God's grace。 I
distributed nothing； an like your honour； but a word of advice to
my fellows in servitude and sin。' 'Advice！ concerning what？'
'Concerning profane swearing； an please your honour； so horrid
and shocking； that it made my hair stand on end。' 'Nay； if thou
can'st cure them Of that disease； I shall think thee a wonderful
doctor indeed' 'Why not cure them； my good master？ the hearts of
those poor people are not so stubborn as your honour seems to
think Make them first sensible that you have nothing in view but
their good； then they will listen with patience； and easily be
convinced of the sin and folly of a practice that affords neither
profit nor pleasure At this remark； our uncle changed colour；
and looked round the company； conscious that his own withers were
not altogether unwrung。 'But； Clinker （said he） if you should
have eloquence enough to persuade the vulgar to resign those
tropes and figures of rhetoric； there will be little or nothing
left to distinguish their conversation from that of their
betters。' 'But then your honour knows； their conversation will be
void of offence； and； at the day of judgment； there will be no
distinction of persons。'
Humphry going down stairs to fetch up a bottle of wine； my uncle
congratulated his sister upon having such a reformer in the
family； when Mrs Tabitha declared； he was a sober civilized
fellow； very respectful； and very industrious； and； she believed；
a good Christian into the bargain。 One would think； Clinker must
really have some very extraordinary talent； to ingratiate himself
in this manner with a virago of her character； so fortified
against him with prejudice and resentment； but the truth is；
since the adventure of Salt…hill； Mrs Tabby seems to be entirely
changed。 She has left off scolding the servants； an exercise
which was grown habitual； and even seemed necessary to her
constitution； and is become so indifferent to Chowder； as to part
with him in a present to lady Griskin； who proposes to bring the
breed of him into fashion。 Her ladyship is the widow of Sir
Timothy Griskin； a distant relation of our family。 She enjoys a
jointure of five hundred pounds a…year； and makes shift to spend
three times that sum。 Her character before marriage was a little
equivocal； but at present she lives in the bon ton； keeps card…tables；
gives private suppers to select friends； and is visited
by persons of the first fashion She has been remarkably civil to
us all； and cultivates my uncle with the most particular regard；
but the more she strokes him； the more his bristles seem to rise
To her compliments he makes very laconic and dry returns
T'other day she sent us a pottle of fine strawberries； which he
did not receive without signs of disgust； muttering from the
Aeneid； timeo Danaos et Dona ferentes。 She has twice called for
Liddy； of a forenoon； to take an airing in the coach； but Mrs
Tabby was always so alert （I suppose by his direction） that she
never could have the niece without her aunt's company。 I have
endeavoured to sound Square…toes on this subject； but he
carefully avoids all explanation。
I have now； dear Phillips； filled a whole sheet； and if you have
read it to an end； I dare say； you are as tired as
Your humble servant；
J。 MELFORD
LONDON； June 2。
To Dr LEWIS。
Yes； Doctor； I have seen the British Museum； which is a noble
collection； and even stupendous； if we consider it was made by a
private man； a physician； who was obliged to make his own for
tune at the same time： but great as the collection is； it would
appear more striking if it was arranged in one spacious saloon；
instead of being divided into different apartments； which it does
not entirely fill I could wish the series of medals was
connected； and the whole of the animal； vegetable； and mineral
kingdoms completed； by adding to each； at the public expence；
those articles that are wanting。 It would likewise be a great
improvement； with respect to the library； if the deficiencies
were made up； by purchasing all the books of character that are
not to be found already in the collection They might be classed
in centuries； according to the dates of their publication； and
catalogues printed of them and the manuscripts； for the
information of those that want to consult； or compile from such
authorities。 I could also wish； for the honour of the nation；
that there was a complete apparatus for a course of mathematics；
mechanics； and experimental philosophy； and a good salary settled
upon an able professor； who should give regular lectures on these
subjects。
But this is all idle speculation； which will never be reduced to
practice Considering the temper of the times； it is a wonder to
see any institution whatsoever established for the benefit of the
Public。 The spirit of party is risen to a kind of phrenzy；
unknown to former ages； or rather degenerated to a total
extinction of honesty and candour You know I have observed； for
some time； that the public papers are become the infamous
vehicles of the most cruel and perfidious defamation： every
rancorous knave every desperate incendiary； that can afford to
spend half a crown or three shillings； may skulk behind the press
of a newsmonger； and have a stab at the first character in the
kingdom； without running the least hazard of detection or
punishment。
I have made acquaintance with a Mr Barton； whom Jery knew at
Oxford； a good sort of a man； though most ridiculously warped in
his political principles； but his partiality is the less
offensive； as it never appears in the stile of scurrility and
abuse。 He is a member of parliament； and a retainer to the court；
and his whole conversation turns upon the virtues and perfections
of the ministers； who are his patrons。 T'other day； when he was
bedaubing one of those worthies； with the most fulsome praise； I
told him I had seen the same nobleman characterised very
differently； in one of the daily…papers； indeed； so stigmatized；
that if one half of what was said of him was true； he must be not
only unfit to rule； but even unfit to live： that those
impeachments had been repeated again and again； with the addition
of fresh matter； and that as he had taken no steps towards his
own vindication； I began to think there was some foundation for
the charge。 'And pray； Sir （said Mr Barton）； what steps would you
have him take？ Suppose he should prosecute the publisher； who
screens the anonymous accuser； and bring him to the pillory for a
libel； this is so far from being counted a punishment； in
terrorem； that it will probably make his fortune