whether the world was always as contemptible； as it appears to me
at present？ If the morals of mankind have not contracted an
extraordinary degree of depravity； within these thirty years；
then must I be infected with the common vice of old men；
difficilis； querulus； laudator temporis acti； or； which is more
probable； the impetuous pursuits and avocations of youth have
formerly hindered me from observing those rotten parts of human
nature； which now appear so offensively to my observation。
We have been at court； and 'change； and every where； and every
where we find food for spleen； and subject for ridicule My new
servant； Humphry Clinker； turns out a great original： and Tabby
is a changed creature She has parted with Chowder； and does
nothing but smile； like Malvolio in the play I'll be hanged if
she is not acting a part which is not natural to her disposition；
for some purpose which I have not yet discovered。
With respect to the characters of mankind； my curiosity is quite
satisfied： I have done with the science of men； and must now
endeavour to amuse myself with the novelty of things。 I am； at
present； by a violent effort of the mind； forced from my natural
bias； but this power ceasing to act； I shall return to my
solitude with redoubled velocity。 Every thing I see； and hear；
and feel； in this great reservoir of folly； knavery； and
sophistication； contributes to inhance the value of a country
life； in the sentiments of
Yours always；
MATT。 BRAMBLE
LONDON； June 2。
To Mrs MARY JONES； at Brambleton…hall。
DEAR MARY JONES；
Lady Griskin's botler； Mr Crumb； having got 'squire Barton to
frank me a kiver； I would not neglect to let you know how it is
with me； and the rest of the family。
I could not rite by John Thomas； for because he went away in a
huff； at a minutes' warning。 He and Chowder could not agree； and
so they fitt upon the road； and Chowder bitt his thumb； and he
swore he would do him a mischief； and he spoke saucy to mistress；
whereby the squire turned him off in gudgeon； and by God's
providence we picked up another footman； called Umphry Klinker； a
good sole as ever broke bread； which shews that a scalded cat may
prove a good mouser； and a hound be staunch； thof he has got
narro hare on his buttocks； but the proudest nose may be bro't to
the grinestone； by sickness and misfortunes。
0 Molly！ what shall I say of London？ All the towns that ever I
beheld in my born…days； are no more than Welsh barrows and
crumlecks to this wonderful sitty！ Even Bath itself is but a
fillitch； in the naam of God One would think there's no end of
the streets； but the land's end。 Then there's such a power of
people；
going hurry skurry！ Such a racket of coxes！ Such a noise； and
haliballoo！ So many strange sites to be seen！ O gracious！ my poor
Welsh brain has been spinning like a top ever since I came
hither！ And I have seen the Park； and the paleass of Saint
Gimses； and the king's and the queen's magisterial pursing； and
the sweet young princes； and the hillyfents； and pye bald ass；
and all the rest of the royal family。
Last week I went with mistress to the Tower； to see the crowns
and wild beastis； and there was a monstracious lion； with teeth
half a quarter long； and a gentleman bid me not go near him； if I
wasn't a maid； being as how he would roar； and tear； and play the
dickens Now I had no mind to go near him； for I cannot abide
such dangerous honeymils； not I but； mistress would go； and the
beast kept such a roaring and bouncing； that I tho't he would
have broke his cage and devoured us all； and the gentleman
tittered forsooth； but I'll go to death upon it； I will； that my
lady is as good a firchin； as the child unborn； and； therefore；
either the gentleman told a fib； or the lion oft to be set in the
stocks for bearing false witness agin his neighbour； for the
commandment sayeth； Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy
neighbour。
I was afterwards of a party at Sadler's…wells； where I saw such
tumbling and dancing upon ropes and wires； that I was frightened
and ready to go into a fit I tho't it was all inchantment； and；
believing myself bewitched； began for to cry You knows as how
the witches in Wales fly upon broom…sticks： but here was flying
without any broom…stick； or thing in the varsal world； and firing
of pistols in the air； and blowing of trumpets； and swinging； and
rolling of wheel…barrows upon a wire （God bless us！） no thicker
than a sewing…thread； that； to be sure； they must deal with the
devil！ A fine gentleman； with a pig's…tail； and a golden sord by
his side； come to comfit me； and offered for to treat me with a
pint of wind； but I would not stay； and so； in going through the
dark passage； he began to shew his cloven futt； and went for to
be rude： my fellow…sarvant； Umphry Klinker； bid him be sivil； and
he gave the young man a dowse in the chops； but； I fackins； Mr
Klinker wa'n't long in his debt with a good oaken sapling he
dusted his doublet； for all his golden cheese toaster； and；
fipping me under his arm； carried me huom； I nose not how； being
I was in such a flustration But； thank God！ I'm now vaned from
all such vanities； for what are all those rarities and vagaries
to the glory that shall be revealed hereafter？ O Molly！ let not
your poor heart be puffed up with vanity。
I had almost forgot to tell you； that I have had my hair cut and
pippered； and singed； and bolstered； and buckled； in the newest
fashion； by a French freezer Parley vow Francey Vee madmansell
I now carries my head higher than arrow private gentlewoman of
Vales。 Last night； coming huom from the meeting； I was taken by
lamp…light for an iminent poulterer's daughter； a great beauty
But as I was saying； this is all vanity and vexation of spirit
The pleasures of London are no better than sower whey and stale
cyder； when compared to the joys of the new Gerusalem。
Dear Mary Jones！ An please God when I return； I'll bring you a
new cap； with a turkey…shell coom； and a pyehouse sermon； that
was preached in the Tabernacle； and I pray of all love； you will
mind your vriting and your spilling； for； craving your pardon；
Molly； it made me suet to disseyffer your last scrabble； which
was delivered by the hind at Bath 0； voman！ voman！ if thou
had'st but the least consumption of what pleasure we scullers
have； when we can cunster the crabbidst buck off hand； and spell
the ethnitch vords without lucking at the primmer。 As for Mr
Klinker； he is qualified to be a clerk to a parish But I'll say
no more Remember me to Saul poor sole！ it goes to my hart to
think she don't yet know her letters But all in God's good time
It shall go hard； but I will bring her the A B C in gingerbread；
and that； you nose； will be learning to her taste。
Mistress says； we are going a long gurney to the North； but go
where we will； I shall ever be；
Dear Mary Jones；
Yours with true infection
WIN。 JENKINS
LONDON； June 3。
To Sir WATKIN PHILLIPS； of Jesus college； Oxon。
DEAR WAT；
I mentioned in my last； my uncle's design of going to the duke of
N's levee； which design has been executed accordingly。 His
grace has been so long accustomed to this kind of homage； that
though the place he now fills does not imply the tenth part of
the influence； which he exerted in his former office； he has
given his friends to understand； that they cannot oblige him in
any thing more； than in contributing to support the shadow of
that power； which he no longer retains in substance； and
therefore he has still public days； on which they appear at his
levee。
My uncle and I went thither with Mr Barton； who； being one of the
duke's adherents； undertook to be our introducer The room was
pretty well filled with people； in a great variety of dress； but
there was no more than one gown and cassock； though I was told
his grace had； while he was minister； preferred almost every
individual that now filled the bench of bishops in the house of
lords； but in all probability； the gratitude of the clergy is
like their charity； which shuns the light Mr Barton was
immediately accosted by a person well stricken in years； tall；
and raw…boned； with a hook…nose； and an arch leer； that
indicated； at least； as much cunning as sagacity。 Our conductor
saluted him； by the name of captain C； and afterwards informed
us he was a man of shrewd parts； whom the government occasionally
employed in secret services。 But I have had the history of him
more at large； from another quarter。 He had been； many years ago；
concerned in fraudulent practices； as a merchant； in France； and
being convicted of some of them； was sent to the gallies； from
whence he was delivered by the interest of the late duke of
Ormond； to whom he had recommended himself in letter； as his
name…sake and relation He was in the sequel； employed by our
ministry as a spy； and in the war of 1740； traversed all Spain；
as well as France； in the disguise of a capuchin； at the extreme
hazard of his life； in as much as the court of Madrid had
actually got scent of him； and given orders to apprehend him at
St Sebastian's； from whence he had fortunately retired but a few
hours before the order arrived。 This and other hair…breadth
'scapes he pleaded so effectually as a merit with the English
ministry； that they allowed him a comfortable pension； which he
now enjoys in his old age He has still access to all the
ministers； and is said to be consulted by them on many subjects；
as a man of uncommon understanding and great experience He is；
in fact； a fellow of some parts； and invincible assurance； and；
in his discourse； he assumes such an air of self…sufficiency； as
may very well impose upon some of the shallow politicians； who
now labour at the helm of administration。 But； if he is not
belied； this is not the only imposture of which he is guilty
They say； he is at bottom not only a Roman…catholic； but really a
priest； and while he pretends to disclose to our state…pilots all
the springs that move the cabinet of Versailles； he is actually
picking up intelligence for the service of the French minister。 Be
that as it may； captain C entered into conversation with us in
the most famil