Newcastle； it lies mostly in a bottom； on the banks of the Tyne；
and makes an appearance still more disagreeable than that of
Durham； but it is rendered populous and rich by industry and
commerce； and the country lying on both sides the river； above
the town； yields a delightful prospect of agriculture and
plantation。 Morpeth and Alnwick are neat； pretty towns； and this
last is famous for the castle which has belonged so many ages to
the noble house of Piercy； earls of Northumberland。 It is；
doubtless； a large edifice； containing a great number of
apartments； and stands in a commanding situation； but the
strength of it seems to have consisted not so much in its site；
or the manner in which it is fortified； as in the valour of its
defendants。
Our adventures since we left Scarborough； are scarce worth
reciting； and yet I must make you acquainted with my sister
Tabby's progress in husband…hunting； after her disappointments at
Bath and London。 She had actually begun to practise upon a
certain adventurer； who was in fact a highwayman by profession；
but he had been used to snares much more dangerous than any she
could lay； and escaped accordingly。 Then she opened her batteries
upon an old weather…beaten Scotch lieutenant； called Lismahago；
who joined us at Durham； and is； I think； one of the most
singular personages I ever encountered His manner is as harsh as
his countenance； but his peculiar turn of thinking； and his pack
of knowledge made up of the remnants of rarities； rendered his
conversation desirable； in spite of his pedantry and ungracious
address。 I have often met with a crab…apple in a hedge； which I
have been tempted to eat for its flavour； even while I was
disgusted by its austerity。 The spirit of contradiction is
naturally so strong in Lismahago； that I believe in my conscience
he has rummaged； and read； and studied with indefatigable
attention； in order to qualify himself to refute established
maxims； and thus raise trophies for the gratification of
polemical pride。 Such is the asperity of his self…conceit； that
he will not even acquiesce in a transient compliment made to his
own individual in particular； or to his country in general。
When I observed； that he must have read a vast number of books to
be able to discourse on such a variety of subjects； he declared
he had read little or nothing； and asked how he should find books
among the woods of America； where he had spent the greatest part
of his life。 My nephew remarking that the Scots in general were
famous for their learning； he denied the imputation； and defied
him to prove it from their works 'The Scots （said he） have a
slight tincture of letters； with which they make a parade among
people who are more illiterate than themselves； but they may be
said to float on the surface of science； and they have made very
small advances in the useful arts。' 'At least （cried Tabby）； all
the world allows that the Scots behaved gloriously in fighting
and conquering the savages of America。' 'I can assure you； madam；
you have been misinformed （replied the lieutenant）； in that
continent the Scots did nothing more than their duty； nor was
there one corps in his majesty's service that distinguished
itself more than another。 Those who affected to extol the Scots
for superior merit； were no friends to that nation。'
Though he himself made free with his countrymen； he would not
suffer any other person to glance a sarcasm at them with
impunity。 One of the company chancing to mention lord B's
inglorious peace； the lieutenant immediately took up the cudgels
in his lordship's favour； and argued very strenuously to prove
that it was the most honourable and advantageous peace that
England had ever made since the foundation of the monarchy。 Nay；
between friends； he offered such reasons on this subject； that I
was really confounded； if not convinced。 He would not allow that
the Scots abounded above their proportion in the army and navy of
Great…Britain； or that the English had any reason to say his
countrymen had met with extraordinary encouragement in the
service。 'When a South and North…Briton （said he） are competitors
for a place or commission； which is in the disposal of an English
minister or an English general； it would be absurd to suppose
that the preference will not be given to the native of England；
who has so many advantages over his rival。 First and foremost；
he has in his favour that laudable partiality； which； Mr Addison
says； never fails to cleave to the heart of an Englishman； secondly；
he has more powerful connexions； and a greater share of parliamentary
interest； by which those contests are generally decided； and
lastly； he has a greater command of money to smooth the way to
his success。 For my own part （said he）； I know no Scotch officer；
who has risen in the army above the rank of a subaltern； without
purchasing every degree of preferment either with money or
recruits； but I know many gentlemen of that country； who； for
want of money and interest； have grown grey in the rank of
lieutenants； whereas very few instances of this ill…fortune are
to be found among the natives of South…Britain。 Not that I would
insinuate that my countrymen have the least reason to complain。
Preferment in the service； like success in any other branch of
traffic； will naturally favour those who have the greatest stock
of cash and credit； merit and capacity being supposed equal on
all sides。'
But the most hardy of all this original's positions were these：
That commerce would； sooner or later； prove the ruin of every
nation； where it flourishes to any extent that the parliament
was the rotten part of the British constitution that the liberty
of the press was a national evil and that the boasted
institution of juries； as managed in England； was productive of
shameful perjury and flagrant injustice。 He observed； that
traffick was an enemy to all the liberal passions of the soul；
founded on the thirst of lucre； a sordid disposition to take
advantage of the necessities of our fellow creatures。 He
affirmed； the nature of commerce was such； that it could not be
fixed or perpetuated； but； having flowed to a certain height；
would immediately begin to ebb； and so continue till the
channels should be left almost dry； but there was no instance of
the tide's rising a second time to any considerable influx in the
same nation。 Mean while the sudden affluence occasioned by trade；
forced open all the sluices of luxury and overflowed the land
with every species of profligacy and corruption； a total pravity
of manners would ensue； and this must be attended with bankruptcy
and ruin。 He observed of the parliament； that the practice of
buying boroughs； and canvassing for votes； was an avowed system
of venality； already established on the ruins of principle；
integrity； faith； and good order； in consequence of which the
elected and the elector； and； in short； the whole body of the
people； were equally and universally contaminated and corrupted。
He affirmed； that of a parliament thus constituted； the crown
would always have influence enough to secure a great majority in
its dependence； from the great number of posts； places； and
pensions it had to bestow； that such a parliament would （as it
had already done） lengthen the term of its sitting and authority；
whenever the prince should think it for his interest to continue
the representatives； for； without doubt； they had the same right
to protect their authority ad infinitum； as they had to extend it
from three to seven years。 With a parliament； therefore；
dependent upon the crown； devoted to the prince； and supported by
a standing army； garbled and modelled for the purpose； any king
of England may； and probably some ambitious sovereign will；
totally overthrow all the bulwarks of the constitution； for it is
not to be supposed that a prince of high spirit will tamely
submit to be thwarted in all his measures； abused and insulted by
a populace of unbridled ferocity； when he has it in his power to
crush all opposition under his feet with the concurrence of the
legislature。 He said； he should always consider the liberty of
the press as a national evil； while it enabled the vilest reptile
to soil the lustre of the most shining merit； and furnished the
most infamous incendiary with the means of disturbing the peace
and destroying the good order of the community。 He owned；
however； that under due restrictions； it would be a valuable
privilege； but affirmed； that at present there was no law in
England sufficient to restrain it within proper bounds。
With respect to juries； he expressed himself to this effect：
juries are generally composed of illiterate plebeians； apt to be
mistaken； easily misled； and open to sinister influence； for if
either of the parties to be tried； can gain over one of the
twelve jurors； he has secured the verdict in his favour； the
juryman thus brought over will； in despight of all evidence and
conviction； generally hold out till his fellows are fatigued； and
harassed； and starved into concurrence； in which case the verdict
is unjust； and the jurors are all perjured： but cases will often
occur； when the jurors are really divided in opinion； and each
side is convinced in opposition to the other； but no verdict will
be received； unless they are unanimous； and they are all bound；
not only in conscience； but by oath； to judge and declare
according to their conviction。 What then will be the
consequence？ They must either starve in company； or one side
must sacrifice their conscience to their convenience； and join in
a verdict which they believe to be false。 This absurdity is
avoided in Sweden； where a bare majority is sufficient； and in
Scotland； where two thirds of the jury are required to concur in
the verdict。
You must not imagine that all these deductions were made on his
part； without contradictions on mine。 No the truth is； I found
myself piqued in point of honour； at his pretending to be so much
wiser than his neighbours。 I questioned all his assertions；
started innumerable objections； argued and wrangled with uncommon
perseverance； and grew very warm； and even violent； in the
debate。