robert falconer- 第79部分

Thou　shouldst　be　seen　in　such　a　company

Of　ugly　runaways；　unshapely　heaps

Of　ruffian　vapour；　broken　from　restraint

Of　their　slim　prison　in　the　ocean　deeps。

But　yet　I　may　not；　chide：　fall　to　thy　books；

Fall　to　immediately　without　complaint

There　they　are　lying；　hills　and　vales　and　brooks。



WRITTEN　ABOUT　THE　LONGEST　DAY。



Summer；　sweet　Summer；　many…fingered　Summer！

We　hold　thee　very　dear；　as　well　we　may：

It　is　the　kernel　of　the　year　to…day

All　hail　to　thee！　　Thou　art　a　welcome　corner！

If　every　insect　were　a　fairy　drummer；

And　I　a　fifer　that　could　deftly　play；

We'd　give　the　old　Earth　such　a　roundelay

That　she　would　cast　all　thought　of　labour　from　her

Ah！　what　is　this　upon　my　window…pane？

Some　sulky　drooping　cloud　comes　pouting　up；

Stamping　its　glittering　feet　along　the　plain！

Well；　I　will　let　that　idle　fancy　drop。

Oh；　how　the　spouts　are　bubbling　with　the　rain！

And　all　the　earth　shines　like　a　silver　cup！



ON　A　MIDGE。



Whence　do　ye　come；　ye　creature？　　Each　of　you

Is　perfect　as　an　angel；　wings　and　eyes

Stupendous　in　their　beautygorgeous　dyes

In　feathery　fields　of　purple　and　of　blue！

Would　God　I　saw　a　moment　as　ye　do！

I　would　become　a　molecule　in　size；

Rest　with　you；　hum　with　you；　or　slanting　rise

Along　your　one　dear　sunbeam；　could　I　view

The　pearly　secret　which　each　tiny　fly；

Each　tiny　fly　that　hums　and　bobs　and　stirs；

Hides　in　its　little　breast　eternally

》From　you；　ye　prickly　grim　philosophers；

With　all　your　theories　that　sound　so　high：

Hark　to　the　buzz　a　moment；　my　good　sirs！



ON　A　WATERFALL。



Here　stands　a　giant　stone　from　whose　far　top

Comes　down　the　sounding　water。　　Let　me　gaze

Till　every　sense　of　man　and　human　ways

Is　wrecked　and　quenched　for　ever；　and　I　drop

Into　the　whirl　of　time；　and　without　stop

Pass　downward　thus！　　Again　my　eyes　I　raise

To　thee；　dark　rock；　and　through　the　mist　and　haze

My　strength　returns　when　I　behold　thy　prop

Gleam　stern　and　steady　through　the　wavering　wrack

Surely　thy　strength　is　human；　and　like　me

Thou　bearest　loads　of　thunder　on　thy　back！

And；　lo；　a　smile　upon　thy　visage　black

A　breezy　tuft　of　grass　which　I　can　see

Waving　serenely　from　a　sunlit　crack！



Above　my　head　the　great　pine…branches　tower

Backwards　and　forwards　each　to　the　other　bends；

Beckoning　the　tempest…cloud　which　hither　wends

Like　a　slow…laboured　thought；　heavy　with　power；

Hark　to　the　patter　of　the　coming　shower！

Let　me　be　silent　while　the　Almighty　sends

His　thunder…word　along；　but　when　it　ends

I　will　arise　and　fashion　from　the　hour

Words　of　stupendous　import；　fit　to　guard

High　thoughts　and　purposes；　which　I　may　wave；

When　the　temptation　cometh　close　and　hard；

Like　fiery　brands　betwixt　me　and　the　grave

Of　meaner　thingsto　which　I　am　a　slave

If　evermore　I　keep　not　watch　and　ward。



I　do　remember　how　when　very　young；

I　saw　the　great　sea　first；　and　heard　its　swell

As　I　drew　nearer；　caught　within　the　spell

Of　its　vast　size　and　its　mysterious　tongue。

How　the　floor　trembled；　and　the　dark　boat　swung

With　a　man　in　it；　and　a　great　wave　fell

Within　a　stone's　cast！　　Words　may　never　tell

The　passion　of　the　moment；　when　I　flung

All　childish　records　by；　and　felt　arise

A　thing　that　died　no　more！　　An　awful　power

I　claimed　with　trembling　hands　and　eager　eyes；

Mine；　mine　for　ever；　an　immortal　dower。

The　noise　of　waters　soundeth　to　this　hour；

When　I　look　seaward　through　the　quiet　skies。



ON　THE　SOURCE　OF　THE　ARVE。



Hear'st　thou　the　dash　of　water　loud　and　hoarse

With　its　perpetual　tidings　upward　climb；

Struggling　against　the　wind？　　Oh；　how　sublime！

For　not　in　vain　from　its　portentous　source；

Thy　heart；　wild　stream；　hath　yearned　for　its　full　force；

But　from　thine　ice…toothed　caverns　dark　as　time

At　last　thou　issuest；　dancing　to　the　rhyme

Of　thy　outvolleying　freedom！　　Lo；　thy　course

Lies　straight　before　thee　as　the　arrow　flies；

Right　to　the　ocean…plains。　　Away；　away！

Thy　parent　waits　thee；　and　her　sunset　dyes

Are　ruffled　for　thy　coming；　and　the　gray

Of　all　her　glittering　borders　flashes　high

Against　the　glittering　rocks：　oh；　haste；　and　fly！









PART　III。HIS　MANHOOD。







CHAPTER　I。



IN　THE　DESERT。



A　life　lay　behind　Robert　Falconer；　and　a　life　lay　before　him。　　He

stood　on　a　shoal　between。



The　life　behind　him　was　in　its　grave。　　He　had　covered　it　over　and

turned　away。　　But　he　knew　it　would　rise　at　night。



The　life　before　him　was　not　yet　born；　and　what　should　issue　from

that　dull　ghastly　unrevealing　fog　on　the　horizon；　he　did　not　care。

Thither　the　tide　setting　eastward　would　carry　him；　and　his　future

must　be　born。　　All　he　cared　about　was　to　leave　the　empty　garments　of

his　dead　behind　himthe　sky　and　the　fields；　the　houses　and　the

gardens　which　those　dead　had　made　alive　with　their　presence。

Travel；　motion；　ever　on；　ever　away；　was　the　sole　impulse　in　his

heart。　　Nor　had　the　thought　of　finding　his　father　any　share　in　his

restlessness。



He　told　his　grandmother　that　he　was　going　back　to　Aberdeen。　　She

looked　in　his　face　with　surprise；　but　seeing　trouble　there；　asked　no

questions。　　As　if　walking　in　a　dream；　he　found　himself　at　Dr。

Anderson's　door。



'Why；　Robert；'　said　the　good　man；　'what　has　brought　you　back？　　Ah！

I　see。　　Poor　Ericson！　　I　am　very　sorry；　my　boy。　　What　can　I　do　for

you？'



'I　can't　go　on　with　my　studies　now；　sir；'　answered　Robert。　'I　have

taken　a　great　longing　for　travel。　　Will　you　give　me　a　little　money

and　let　me　go？'



'To　be　sure　I　will。　　Where　do　you　want　to　go？'



'I　don't　know。　　Perhaps　as　I　go　I　shall　find　myself　wanting　to　go

somewhere。　　You're　not　afraid　to　trust　me；　are　you；　sir？'



'Not　in　the　least；　Robert。　　I　trust　you　perfectly。　　You　shall　do

just　as　you　please。Have　you　any　idea；　how　much　money　you　will

want？'



'No。　Give　me　what　you　are　willing　I　should　spend：　I　will　go　by

that。'



'Come　along　to　the　bank　then。　　I　will　give　you　enough　to　start　with。

Write　at　once　when　you　want　more。　　Don't　be　too　saving。　　Enjoy

yourself　as　well　as　you　can。　　I　shall　not　grudge　it。'



Robert　smiled　a　wan　smile　at　the　idea　of　enjoying　himself。　　His

friend　saw　it；　but　let　it　pass。　　There　was　no　good　in　persuading　a

man　whose　grief　was　all　he　had　left；　that　he　must　ere　long　part　with

that　too。　　That　would　have　been　in　lowest　deeps　of　sorrow　to　open　a

yet　lower　deep　of　horror。　　But　Robert　would　have　refused；　and　would

have　been　right　in　refusing　to　believe　with　regard　to　himself　what

might　be　true　in　regard　to　most　men。　　He　might　rise　above　his　grief；

he　might　learn　to　contain　his　grief；　but　lose　it；　forget　it？never。



He　went　to　bid　Shargar　farewell。　　As　soon　as　he　had　a　glimpse　of

what　his　friend　meant；　he　burst　out　in　an　agony　of　supplication。



'Tak　me　wi'　ye；　Robert；'　he　cried。　'Ye're　a　gentleman　noo。　　I'll　be

yer　man。　　I'll　put　on　a　livery　coat；　an'　gang　wi'　ye。　　I'll　awa'　to

Dr。　Anderson。　　He's　sure　to　lat　me　gang。'



'No；　Shargar；'　said　Robert；　'I　can't　have　you　with　me。　　I've　come

into　trouble；　Shargar；　and　I　must　fight　it　out　alone。'



'Ay；　ay；　I　ken。　　Puir　Mr。　Ericson！'



'There's　nothing　the　matter　with　Mr。　Ericson。　　Don't　ask　me　any

questions。　　I've　said　more　to　you　now　than　I've　said　to　anybody

besides。'



'That　is　guid　o'　you；　Robert。　　But　am　I　never　to　see　ye　again？'



'I　don't　know。　　Perhaps　we　may　meet　some　day。'



'Perhaps　is　nae　muckle　to　say；　Robert；'　protested　Shargar。



'It's　more　than　can　be　said　about　everything；　Shargar；'　returned

Robert；　sadly。



'Weel；　I　maun　jist　tak　it　as　't　comes；'　said　Shargar；　with　a

despairing　philosophy　derived　from　the　days　when　his　mother　thrashed

him。　'But；　eh！　　Robert；　gin　it　had　only　pleased　the　Almichty　to　sen'

me　into　the　warl'　in　a　some　respectable　kin'　o'　a　fashion！'



'Wi'　a　chance　a'　gaein'　aboot　the　country　like　that　curst　villain

yer　brither；　I　suppose？'　retorted　Robert；　rousing　himself　for　a

moment。



'Na；　na；'　responded　Shargar。　'I'll　stick　to　my　ain　mither。　　She

never　learned　me　sic　tricks。'



'Do　ye　that。　　Ye　canna　compleen　o'　God。　It's　a'　richt　as　far　's

ye're　concerned。　　Gin　he　dinna　something　o'　ye　yet；　it'll　be　your

wyte；　no　his；　I'm　thinkin'。'



They　walked　to　Dr。　Anderson's　together；　and　spent　the　night　there。

In　the　morning　Robert　got　on　the　coach　for　Edinburgh。



I　cannot；　if　I　would；　follow　him　on　his　travels。　　Only　at　times；

when　the　conversation　rose　in　the　dead　of　night；　by　some　Jacob's

ladder　of　blessed　ascent；　into　regions　where　the　heart　of　such　a　man

could　open　as　in　its　own　natural　clime；　would　a　few　words　cause　the

clouds　that　enveloped　this　period　of　his　history　to　dispart；　and

grant　me　a　peep　into　the　phantasm　of　his　past。　　I　suspect；　however；

that　much　of　it　left　upon　his　mind　no　recallable　impressions。　　I

suspect　that　much　of　it　looked　to　himself　in　the　retrospect　like　a

painful　dream；　with　only　certain　objects　and　occurrences　standing

prominent　enough　to　clear　the　moonlight　mist　enwrapping　the　rest。



What　the　precise　nature　of　his　misery　was　I　shall　not　even　attempt

to　conjecture。　　That　would　be　to　intrude　within　the　holy　place　of　a

human　heart。　　One　thing　alone　I　will　venture　to　affirmthat

bitterness　against　either　of　his　friends；　whose　spirits　rushed

together　and　left　his　outside；　had　no　place　in　that　noble　nature。

His　fate　lay　behind　him；　like　the　birth　of　Shargar；　like　the　death

of　Ericson；　a　decree。



I　do　not　even　know　in　what　direction　he　first　went。　　That　he　had

seen　many　cities　and　many　countries　was　apparent　from　glimpses　of

ancient　streets；　of　mountain…marvels；　of　strange　constellations；　of

things　in　heaven　and　earth　which　no　one　could　have　seen　but　himself；

called　up　by　the　magic　of　his　words。　　A　silent　man　in　company；　he

talked　much　when　his　hour　of　speech　arrived。　　Seldom；　however；　did

he　narrate　any　incident　save　in　connection　with　some　truth　of　human

nature；　or　fact　of　the　universe。