reason； prudence； and address； is never to be affected by force。 I
myself was brought up after that manner； and they tell me that in all my
first age I never felt the rod but twice； and then very slightly。 I
practised the same method with my children； who all of them died at
nurse； except Leonora； my only daughter； and who arrived to the age of
five years and upward without other correction for her childish faults
（her mother's indulgence easily concurring） than words only； and those
very gentle； in which kind of proceeding； though my end and expectation
should be both frustrated； there are other causes enough to lay the fault
on without blaming my discipline； which I know to be natural and just；
and I should； in this； have yet been more religious towards the males； as
less born to subjection and more free； and I should have made it my
business to fill their hearts with ingenuousness and freedom。 I have
never observed other effects of whipping than to render boys more
cowardly； or more wilfully obstinate。
Do we desire to be beloved of our children？ Will we remove from them all
occasion of wishing our death though no occasion of so horrid a wish can
either be just or excusable？
〃Nullum scelus rationem habet。〃
＇〃No wickedness has reason。〃Livy； xxviii。 28＇
Let us reasonably accommodate their lives with what is in our power。 In
order to this； we should not marry so young that our age shall in a
manner be confounded with theirs； for this inconvenience plunges us into
many very great difficulties； and especially the gentry of the nation；
who are of a condition wherein they have little to do； and who live upon
their rents only： for elsewhere； with people who live by their labour；
the plurality and company of children is an increase to the common stock；
they are so many new tools and instruments wherewith to grow rich。
I married at three…and…thirty years of age； and concur in the opinion of
thirty…five； which is said to be that of Aristotle。 Plato will have
nobody marry before thirty； but he has reason to laugh at those who
undertook the work of marriage after five…and…fifty； and condemns their
offspring as unworthy of aliment and life。 Thales gave the truest
limits； who； young and being importuned by his mother to marry； answered；
〃That it was too soon；〃 and； being grown into years and urged again；
〃That it was too late。〃 A man must deny opportunity to every inopportune
action。 The ancient Gauls' looked upon it as a very horrid thing for a
man to have society with a woman before he was twenty years of age； and
strictly recommended to the men who designed themselves for war the
keeping their virginity till well grown in years； forasmuch as courage is
abated and diverted by intercourse with women：
〃Ma； or congiunto a giovinetta sposa；
E lieto omai de' figli； era invilito
Negli affetti di padre et di marito。〃
＇〃Now； married to a young wife and happy in children； he was
demoralised by his love as father and husband。〃
Tasso； Gierus。； x。 39。＇
Muley Hassam； king of Tunis； he whom the Emperor Charles V。 restored to
his kingdom； reproached the memory of his father Mahomet with the
frequentation of women； styling him loose； effeminate； and a getter of
children。＇Of whom he had thirty…four。＇ The Greek history observes of
Iccus the Tarentine； of Chryso； Astyllus； Diopompos； and others； that to
keep their bodies in order for the Olympic games and such like exercises；
they denied themselves during that preparation all commerce with Venus。
In a certain country of the Spanish Indies men were not permitted to
marry till after forty age； and yet the girls were allowed at ten。
'Tis not time for a gentleman of thirty years old to give place to his
son who is twenty； he is himself in a condition to serve both in the
expeditions of war and in the court of his prince； has need of all his
appurtenances； and yet； doubtless； he ought to surrender a share； but not
so great an one as to forget himself for others； and for such an one the
answer that fathers have ordinarily in their mouths； 〃I will not put off
my clothes； before I go to bed；〃 serves well。
But a father worn out with age and infirmities； and deprived by weakness
and want of health of the common society of men； wrongs himself and his
to amass a great heap of treasure。 He has lived long enough； if he be
wise； to have a mind to strip himself to go to bed； not to his very
shirt； I confess； but to that and a good； warm dressing…gown； the
remaining pomps； of which he has no further use； he ought voluntarily to
surrender to those； to whom by the order of nature they belong。 'Tis
reason he should refer the use of those things to them； seeing that
nature has reduced him to such a state that he cannot enjoy them himself；
otherwise there is doubtless malice and envy in the case。 The greatest
act of the Emperor Charles V。 was that when； in imitation of some of the
ancients of his own quality； confessing it but reason to strip ourselves
when our clothes encumber and grow too heavy for us； and to lie down when
our legs begin to fail us； he resigned his possessions； grandeur； and
power to his son； when he found himself failing in vigour； and steadiness
for the conduct of his affairs suitable with the glory he had therein
acquired：
〃Solve senescentem mature sanus equum； ne
Peccet ad extremum ridendus； et ilia ducat。〃
＇〃Dismiss the old horse in good time； lest； failing in the lists；
the spectators laugh。〃Horace； Epist。； i。； I； 8。＇
This fault of not perceiving betimes and of not being sensible of the
feebleness and extreme alteration that age naturally brings both upon
body and mind； which； in my opinion； is equal； if indeed the soul has not
more than half； has lost the reputation of most of the great men in the
world。 I have known in my time； and been intimately acquainted with
persons of great authority； whom one might easily discern marvellously
lapsed from the sufficiency I knew they were once endued with； by the
reputation they had acquired in their former years； whom I could
heartily； for their own sakes； have wished at home at their ease；
discharged of their public or military employments； which were now grown
too heavy for their shoulders。 I have formerly been very familiar in a
gentleman's house； a widower and very old； though healthy and cheerful
enough： this gentleman had several daughters to marry and a son already
of ripe age； which brought upon him many visitors； and a great expense；
neither of which well pleased him； not only out of consideration of
frugality； but yet more for having； by reason of his age； entered into a
course of life far differing from ours。 I told him one day a little
boldly； as I used to do； that he would do better to give us younger folk
room； and to leave his principal house （for he had but that well placed
and furnished） to his son； and himself retire to an estate he had hard
by； where nobody would trouble his repose； seeing he could not otherwise
avoid being importuned by us； the condition of his children considered。
He took my advice afterwards； and found an advantage in so doing。
I do not mean that a man should so instal them as not to reserve to
himself a liberty to retract； I； who am now arrived to the age wherein
such things are fit to be done； would resign to them the enjoyment of my
house and goods； but with a power of revocation if they should give me
cause to alter my mind； I would leave to them the use； that being no
longer convenient for me； and； of the general authority and power over
all； would reserve as much asI thought good to myself； having always
held that it must needs be a great satisfaction to an aged father himself
to put his children into the way of governing his affairs； and to have
power during his own life to control their behaviour； supplying them with
instruction and advice from his own experience； and himself to transfer
the ancient honour and order of his house into the hands of those who are
to succeed him； and by that means to satisfy himself as to the hopes he
may conceive of their future conduct。 And in order to this I would not
avoid their company； I would observe them near at hand； and partake；
according to the condition of my age； of their feasts and jollities。
If I did not live absolutely amongst them； which I could not do without
annoying them and their friends； by reason of the morosity of my age and
the restlessness of my infirmities； and without violating also the rules
and order of living I should then have set down to myself； I would； at
least； live near them in some retired part of my house； not the best in
show； but the most commodious。 Nor as I saw some years ago； a dean of
St。 Hilary of Poitiers given up to such a solitude； that at the time I
came into his chamber it had been two and twenty years that he had not
stepped one foot out of it； and yet had all his motions free and easy；
and was in good health； saving a cold that fell upon his lungs； he would；
hardly once in a week； suffer any one to come in to see him； he always
kept himself shut up in his chamber alone； except that a servant brought
him； once a day； something to eat； and did then but just come in and go
out again。 His employment was to walk up and down； and read some book；
for he was a bit of a scholar； but； as to the rest； obstinately bent to
die in this retirement； as he soon after did。 I would endeavour by
pleasant conversation to create in my children a warm and unfeigned
friendship and good…will towards me； which in well…descended natures is
not hard to do； for if they be furious brutes； of which this age of ours
produces thousands； we are then to hate and avoid them as such。
I am angry at the custom of forbidding children to call their father by
the name of father； and to enjoin them another； as more full of respect
and reverence； as if nature had not sufficiently provided for our
authority。 We call Almighty God Father； and disdain to have our children
call us so； I have reformed this error in my family。＇As did Henry IV。
of France＇ And 'tis also folly and injust