the secret sharer- 第8部分

insanity　as　any　man　who　has　not　actually　gone　over　the　border。

That　gesture　restrained　me；　so　to　speak。



The　mate　with　the　terrific　whiskers　was　now　putting　the　ship

on　the　other　tack。　　In　the　moment　of　profound　silence

which　follows　upon　the　hands　going　to　their　stations　I　heard

on　the　poop　his　raised　voice：　　〃Hard　alee！〃　and　the　distant

shout　of　the　order　repeated　on　the　main…deck。　The　sails；

in　that　light　breeze；　made　but　a　faint　fluttering　noise。

It　ceased。　　The　ship　was　coming　round　slowly：　　I　held　my　breath

in　the　renewed　stillness　of　expectation；　one　wouldn't　have

thought　that　there　was　a　single　living　soul　on　her　decks。

A　sudden　brisk　shout；　〃Mainsail　haul！〃　broke　the　spell；

and　in　the　noisy　cries　and　rush　overhead　of　the　men　running　away

with　the　main　brace　we　two；　down　in　my　cabin；　came　together

in　our　usual　position　by　the　bed　place。



He　did　not　wait　for　my　question。　　〃I　heard　him　fumbling　here　and　just

managed　to　squat　myself　down　in　the　bath；〃　he　whispered　to　me。

〃The　fellow　only　opened　the　door　and　put　his　arm　in　to　hang　the　coat　up。

All　the　same〃



〃I　never　thought　of　that；〃　I　whispered　back；　even　more　appalled

than　before　at　the　closeness　of　the　shave；　and　marveling　at

that　something　unyielding　in　his　character　which　was　carrying

him　through　so　finely。　　There　was　no　agitation　in　his　whisper。

Whoever　was　being　driven　distracted；　it　was　not　he。　　He　was　sane。

And　the　proof　of　his　sanity　was　continued　when　he　took　up

the　whispering　again。



〃It　would　never　do　for　me　to　come　to　life　again。〃



It　was　something　that　a　ghost　might　have　said。　　But　what　he　was　alluding

to　was　his　old　captain's　reluctant　admission　of　the　theory　of　suicide。

It　would　obviously　serve　his　turnif　I　had　understood　at　all　the　view

which　seemed　to　govern　the　unalterable　purpose　of　his　action。



〃You　must　maroon　me　as　soon　as　ever　you　can　get　amongst　these　islands

off　the　Cambodge　shore；〃　he　went　on。



〃Maroon　you！　　We　are　not　living　in　a　boy's　adventure　tale；〃　I　protested。

His　scornful　whispering　took　me　up。



〃We　aren't　indeed！　　There's　nothing　of　a　boy's　tale　in　this。

But　there's　nothing　else　for　it。　　I　want　no　more。

You　don't　suppose　I　am　afraid　of　what　can　be　done　to　me？

Prison　or　gallows　or　whatever　they　may　please。

But　you　don't　see　me　coming　back　to　explain　such　things

to　an　old　fellow　in　a　wig　and　twelve　respectable　tradesmen；

do　you？　　What　can　they　know　whether　I　am　guilty　or　not

or　of　WHAT　I　am　guilty；　either？　　That's　my　affair。

What　does　the　Bible　say？　　‘Driven　off　the　face　of　the　earth。'

Very　well；　I　am　off　the　face　of　the　earth　now。　　As　I　came

at　night　so　I　shall　go。〃



〃Impossible！〃　　I　murmured。　　〃You　can't。〃



〃Can't？　。　。　。　Not　naked　like　a　soul　on　the　Day　of　Judgment。

I　shall　freeze　on　to　this　sleeping　suit。　　The　Last　Day　is　not　yet

and　。　。　。　you　have　understood　thoroughly。　　Didn't　you？〃



I　felt　suddenly　ashamed　of　myself。　　I　may　say　truly　that　I　understood

and　my　hesitation　in　letting　that　man　swim　away　from　my　ship's　side

had　been　a　mere　sham　sentiment；　a　sort　of　cowardice。



〃It　can't　be　done　now　till　next　night；〃　I　breathed　out。

〃The　ship　is　on　the　off…shore　tack　and　the　wind　may　fail　us。〃



〃As　long　as　I　know　that　you　understand；〃　he　whispered。

〃But　of　course　you　do。　　It's　a　great　satisfaction　to　have　got

somebody　to　understand。　　You　seem　to　have　been　there　on　purpose。〃

And　in　the　same　whisper；　as　if　we　two　whenever　we　talked　had　to　say

things　to　each　other　which　were　not　fit　for　the　world　to　hear；

he　added；　〃It's　very　wonderful。〃



We　remained　side　by　side　talking　in　our　secret　way

but　sometimes　silent　or　just　exchanging　a　whispered　word　or　two

at　long　intervals。　　And　as　usual　he　stared　through　the　port。

A　breath　of　wind　came　now　and　again　into　our　faces。

The　ship　might　have　been　moored　in　dock；　so　gently　and　on　an

even　keel　she　slipped　through　the　water；　that　did　not　murmur

even　at　our　passage；　shadowy　and　silent　like　a　phantom　sea。



At　midnight　I　went　on　deck；　and　to　my　mate's　great

surprise　put　the　ship　round　on　the　other　tack。

His　terrible　whiskers　flitted　round　me　in　silent　criticism。

I　certainly　should　not　have　done　it　if　it　had　been　only　a　question

of　getting　out　of　that　sleepy　gulf　as　quickly　as　possible。

I　believe　he　told　the　second　mate；　who　relieved　him；

that　it　was　a　great　want　of　judgment。　　The　other　only　yawned。

That　intolerable　cub　shuffled　about　so　sleepily　and　lolled

against　the　rails　in　such　a　slack；　improper　fashion　that　I

came　down　on　him　sharply。



〃Aren't　you　properly　awake　yet？〃



〃Yes；　sir！　　I　am　awake。〃



〃Well；　then；　be　good　enough　to　hold　yourself　as　if　you　were。

And　keep　a　lookout。　　If　there's　any　current　we'll　be　closing

with　some　islands　before　daylight。〃



The　east　side　of　the　gulf　is　fringed　with　islands；　some　solitary；

others　in　groups。　　One　the　blue　background　of　the　high　coast　they

seem　to　float　on　silvery　patches　of　calm　water；　arid　and　gray；

or　dark　green　and　rounded　like　clumps　of　evergreen　bushes；

with　the　larger　ones；　a　mile　or　two　long；　showing　the　outlines

of　ridges；　ribs　of　gray　rock　under　the　dark　mantle　of　matted　leafage。

Unknown　to　trade；　to　travel；　almost　to　geography；　the　manner

of　life　they　harbor　is　an　unsolved　secret。　　There　must　be　villages

settlements　of　fishermen　at　leaston　the　largest　of　them；　and　some

communication　with　the　world　is　probably　kept　up　by　native　craft。

But　all　that　forenoon；　as　we　headed　for　them；　fanned　along　by

the　faintest　of　breezes；　I　saw　no　sign　of　man　or　canoe　in　the　field

of　the　telescope　I　kept　on　pointing　at　the　scattered　group。



At　noon　I　have　no　orders　for　a　change　of　course；　and　the　mate's

whiskers　became　much　concerned　and　seemed　to　be　offering　themselves

unduly　to　my　notice。　　At　last　I　said：



〃I　am　going　to　stand　right　in。　　Quite　inas　far　as　I　can　take　her。〃



The　stare　of　extreme　surprise　imparted　an　air　of　ferocity　also　to　his　eyes；

and　he　looked　truly　terrific　for　a　moment。



〃We're　not　doing　well　in　the　middle　of　the　gulf；〃　I　continued；　casually。

〃I　am　going　to　look　for　the　land　breezes　tonight。〃



〃Bless　my　soul！　　Do　you　mean；　sir；　in　the　dark　amongst　the　lot　of　all　them

islands　and　reefs　and　shoals？〃



〃Wellif　there　are　any　regular　land　breezes　at　all　on　this　coast

one　must　get　close　inshore　to　find　them；　mustn't　one？〃



〃Bless　my　soul！〃　he　exclaimed　again　under　his　breath。

All　that　afternoon　he　wore　a　dreamy；　contemplative　appearance

which　in　him　was　a　mark　of　perplexity。　　After　dinner　I

went　into　my　stateroom　as　if　I　meant　to　take　some　rest。

There　we　two　bent　our　dark　heads　over　a　half…unrolled　chart

lying　on　my　bed。



〃There；〃　I　said。　　〃It's　got　to　be　Koh…ring。　I've　been　looking

at　it　ever　since　sunrise。　　It　has　got　two　hills　and　a　low　point。

It　must　be　inhabited。　　And　on　the　coast　opposite　there　is　what　looks

like　the　mouth　of　a　biggish　riverwith　some　towns；　no　doubt；　not　far　up。

It's　the　best　chance　for　you　that　I　can　see。〃



〃Anything。　　Koh…ring　let　it　be。〃



He　looked　thoughtfully　at　the　chart　as　if　surveying　chances　and

distances　from　a　lofty　heightand　following　with　his　eyes　his　own

figure　wandering　on　the　blank　land　of　Cochin…China；　and　then　passing

off　that　piece　of　paper　clean　out　of　sight　into　uncharted　regions。

And　it　was　as　if　the　ship　had　two　captains　to　plan　her　course　for　her。

I　had　been　so　worried　and　restless　running　up　and　down　that　I

had　not　had　the　patience　to　dress　that　day。　　I　had　remained

in　my　sleeping　suit；　with　straw　slippers　and　a　soft　floppy　hat。

The　closeness　of　the　heat　in　the　gulf　had　been　most　oppressive；

and　the　crew　were　used　to　seeing　me　wandering　in　that　airy　attire。



〃She　will　clear　the　south　point　as　she　heads　now；〃　I　whispered　into　his　ear。

〃Goodness　only　knows　when；　though；　but　certainly　after　dark。

I'll　edge　her　in　to　half　a　mile；　as　far　as　I　may　be　able　to　judge

in　the　dark〃



〃Be　careful；〃　he　murmured；　warninglyand　I　realized　suddenly

that　all　my　future；　the　only　future　for　which　I　was　fit；

would　perhaps　go　irretrievably　to　pieces　in　any　mishap

to　my　first　command。



I　could　not　stop　a　moment　longer　in　the　room。　　I　motioned　him　to　get　out

of　sight　and　made　my　way　on　the　poop。　　That　unplayful　cub　had　the　watch。

I　walked　up　and　down　for　a　while　thinking　things　out；　then　beckoned　him　over。



〃Send　a　couple　of　hands　to　open　the　two　quarter…deck　ports；〃

I　said；　mildly。



He　actually　had　the　impudence；　or　else　so　forgot　himself　in　his　wonder

at　such　an　incomprehensible　order；　as　to　repeat：



〃Open　the　quarter…deck　ports！　　What　for；　sir？〃



〃The　only　reason　you　need　concern　yourself　about　is　because　I　tell　you

to　do　so。　　Have　them　open　wide　and　fastened　properly。〃



He　reddened　and　went　off；　but　I　believe　made　some　jeering　remark

to　the　carpenter　as　to　the　sensible　practice　of　ventilating

a　ship's　quarter…deck。　I　know　he　popped　into　the　mate's　cabin

to　impart　the　fact　to　him　because　the　whiskers　came　on　deck；

as　it　were　by　chance；　and　stole　glances　at　me　from　below

for　signs　of　lunacy　or　drunkenness；　I　suppose。



A　little　before　supper；　feeling　more　restless　than　ever；　I　rejoined；

for　a　moment；　my　second　self。　　And　to　find　him　sitting　so　quietly

was　surprising；　like　something　against　nature；　inhuman。



I　developed　my　plan　in　a　hurried　whisper。



〃I　shall　stand　in　as　close　as　I　dare　and　then　put　her　round。

I　will　presently　find　means　to　smuggle　you　out　of　here

into　the　sail　locker；　which　communicates　with　the　lobby。

But　there　is　an　opening；　a　sort　of　square　for　hauling　the　sails　out；

which　gives　straight　on　the　quarter…deck　and　which　is　never

closed　in　fine　weather；　so　as　to　give　air　to　the　sails。

When　the　ship's　way　is　deadened　in　stays　and　all　the　hands

are　aft　at　the　main　braces　you　will　have　a　clear　road　to　slip

out　and　get　overboard　through　the　open　quarter…deck　port。

I've　had　them　both　fastened　up。　　Use　a　rope's　end　to　lower

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