measure。 He had therefore ceased struggling against the stream；
and endeavoured to reconcile himself to ruin； by reflecting that
his child at least would inherit his mother's fortune； which was
secured to him by the contract of marriage。
The detail which he gave me of his affairs； filled me at once
with grief and indignation。 I inveighed bitterly against the
indiscretion of his wife； and reproached him with his unmanly
acquiescence under the absurd tyranny which she exerted。 I
exhorted him to recollect his resolution； and make one effectual
effort to disengage himself from a thraldom； equally shameful and
pernicious。 I offered him all the assistance in my power。 I
undertook to regulate his affairs； and even to bring about a
reformation in his family； if he would only authorise me to
execute the plan I should form for his advantage。 I was so
affected by the subject； that I could not help mingling tears
with my remonstrances； and Baynard was so penetrated with these
marks of my affection； that he lost all power of utterance。 He
pressed me to his breast with great emotion； and wept in silence。
At length he exclaimed； 'Friendship is undoubtedly the most
precious balm of life！ Your words； dear Bramble； have in a great
measure recalled me from an abyss of despondence； in which I have
been long overwhelmed。 I will； upon honour； make you acquainted
with a distinct state of my affairs； and； as far as I am able to
go； will follow the course you prescribe。 But there are certain
lengths which my nature The truth is； there are tender
connexions； of which a batchelor has no idea Shall I own my
weakness？ I cannot bear the thoughts of making that woman
uneasy' 'And yet （cried I）； she has seen you unhappy for a
series of years unhappy from her misconduct； without ever
shewing the least inclination to alleviate your distress'
'Nevertheless （said he） I am persuaded she loves me with the most
warm affection； but these are incongruities in the composition of
the human mind which I hold to be inexplicable。'
I was shocked at his infatuation； and changed the subject； after
we had agreed to maintain a close correspondence for the future。
He then gave me to understand； that he had two neighbours； who；
like himself； were driven by their wives at full speed； in the
high road to bankruptcy and ruin。 All the three husbands were of
dispositions very different from each other； and； according to
this variation； their consorts were admirably suited to the
purpose of keeping them all three in subjection。 The views of the
ladies were exactly the same。 They vied in grandeur； that is； in
ostentation； with the wife of Sir Charles Chickwell； who had four
times their fortune； and she again piqued herself upon making an
equal figure with a neighbouring peeress； whose revenue trebled
her own。 Here then was the fable of the frog and the ox； realized
in four different instances within the same county： one large
fortune； and three moderate estates； in a fair way of being burst
by the inflation of female vanity； and in three of these
instances； three different forms of female tyranny were
exercised。 Mr Baynard was subjugated by practising upon the
tenderness of his nature。 Mr Milksan； being of a timorous
disposition； truckled to the insolence of a termagant。 Mr
Sowerby； who was of a temper neither to be moved by fits； nor
driven by menaces； had the fortune to be fitted with a helpmate；
who assailed him with the weapons of irony and satire； sometimes
sneering in the way of compliment； sometimes throwing out
sarcastic comparisons； implying reproaches upon his want of
taste； spirit； and generosity： by which means she stimulated his
passions from one act of extravagance to another； just as the
circumstances of her vanity required。
All these three ladies have at this time the same number of
horses； carriages； and servants in and out of livery； the same
variety of dress； the same quantity of plate and china； the like
ornaments in furniture： and in their entertainments they
endeavour to exceed one another in the variety； delicacy； and
expence of their dishes。 I believe it will be found upon enquiry；
that nineteen out of twenty； who are ruined by extravagance； fall
a sacrifice to the ridiculous pride and vanity of silly women；
whose parts are held in contempt by the very men whom they
pillage and enslave。 Thank heaven； Dick； that among all the
follies and weaknesses of human nature； I have not yet fallen
into that of matrimony。
After Baynard and I had discussed all these matters at leisure；
we returned towards the house； and met Jery with our two women；
who had come forth to take the air； as the lady of the mansion
had not yet made her appearance。 In short； Mrs Baynard did not
produce herself； till about a quarter of an hour before dinner
was upon the table。 Then her husband brought her into the
parlour； accompanied by her aunt and son； and she received us
with a coldness of reserve sufficient to freeze the very soul of
hospitality。 Though she knew I had been the intimate friend of
her husband； and had often seen me with him in London； she shewed
no marks of recognition or regard； when I addressed myself to her
in the most friendly terms of salutation。 She did not even
express the common compliment of； I am glad to see you； or； I
hope you have enjoyed your health since we had the pleasure of
seeing you； or some such words of course： nor did she once open
her mouth in the way of welcome to my sister and my niece： but
sat in silence like a statue； with an aspect of insensibility。
Her aunt； the model upon which she had been formed； was indeed
the very essence of insipid formality but the boy was very pert
and impudent； and prated without ceasing。
At dinner； the lady maintained the same ungracious indifference；
never speaking but in whispers to her aunt； and as to the repast；
it was made up of a parcel of kickshaws； contrived by a French
cook； without one substantial article adapted to the satisfaction
of an English appetite。 The pottage was little better than bread
soaked in dishwashings； lukewarm。 The ragouts looked as if they
had been once eaten and half digested： the fricassees were
involved in a nasty yellow poultice： and the rotis were scorched
and stinking； for the honour of the fumet。 The desert consisted
of faded fruit and iced froth； a good emblem of our landlady's
character； the table…beer was sour； the water foul； and the wine
vapid； but there was a parade of plate and china； and a powdered
lacquey stood behind every chair； except those of the master and
mistress of the house； who were served by two valets dressed like
gentlemen。 We dined in a large old Gothic parlour； which was
formerly the hall。 It was now paved with marble； and；
notwithstanding the fire which had been kindled about an hour；
struck me with such a chill sensation； that when I entered it the
teeth chattered in my jaws In short； every thing was cold；
comfortless； and disgusting； except the looks of my friend
Baynard； which declared the warmth of his affection and humanity。
After dinner we withdrew into another apartment； where the boy
began to be impertinently troublesome to my niece Liddy。 He
wanted a playfellow； forsooth； and would have romped with her；
had she encouraged his advances He was even so impudent as to
snatch a kiss； at which she changed countenance； and seemed
uneasy； and though his father checked him for the rudeness of his
behaviour； he became so outrageous as to thrust his hand in her
bosom： an insult to which she did not tamely submit； though one
of the mildest creatures upon earth。 Her eyes sparkling with
resentment； she started up； and lent him such a box in the ear；
as sent him staggering to the other side of the room。
'Miss Melford （cried his father）； you have treated him with the
utmost propriety I am only sorry that the impertinence of any
child of mine should have occasioned this exertion of your spirit；
which I cannot but applaud and admire。' His wife was so far
from assenting to the candour of his apology； that she rose from
the table； and； taking her son by the hand； 'Come； child （said
she）； your father cannot abide you。' So saying； she retired with
this hopeful youth； and was followed by her gouvernante： but
neither the one nor the other deigned to take the least notice of
the company。
Baynard was exceedingly disconcerted； but I perceived his
uneasiness was tinctured with resentment； and derived a good omen
from this discovery。 I ordered the horses to be put to the
carriage； and； though he made some efforts to detain us all
night； I insisted upon leaving the house immediately； but； before
I went away； I took an opportunity of speaking to him again in
private。 I said every thing I could recollect； to animate his
endeavours in shaking off those shameful trammels。 I made no
scruple to declare； that his wife was unworthy of that tender
complaisance which he had shewn for her foibles： that she was
dead to all the genuine sentiments of conjugal affection；
insensible of her own honour and interest； and seemingly
destitute of common sense and reflection。 I conjured him to
remember what he owed to his father's house； to his own
reputation； and to his family； including even this unreasonable
woman herself； who was driving on blindly to her own destruction。
I advised him to form a plan for retrenching superfluous expence；
and try to convince the aunt of the necessity for such a
reformation； that she might gradually prepare her niece for its
execution； and I exhorted him to turn that disagreeable piece of
formality out of the house； if he should find her averse to his
proposal。
Here he interrupted me with a sigh； observing that such a step
would undoubtedly be fatal to Mrs Baynard 'I shall lose all
patience （cried I）； to hear you talk so weakly Mrs Baynard's
fits will never hurt her constitution。 I believe in my conscience
they are all affected： I am sure she has no feeling for your
distresses； and； when you are ruined； she will appear to have no
feeling for her own。' Finally； I took his word and honour that he
would make an effort； such as I had advised； that he would form a
plan of oeconomy； and； if he found it i